How My Husband And I Stay Connected
Hi Ladies! Switching things up today and talking all things marriage! You probably have noticed that I really don’t talk much about my better half because honestly I didn’t think anyone would be interested! BUT, with quarantine, homeschool, and overall trying to share more parts of my life, I thought there’s no better time than now to share more!
Serg and I have been married for almost 13 years and as much as we love each other, quarantine has definitely tested our patience ha! To make sure we both feel loved, valued, and heard, we’ve had to find ways to stay connected and keep remembering why we fell in love!
Don’t get me wrong, we absolutely adore our kids, but one thing that tends to happen when you have kids is that your priorities become all about them! Whereas in the beginning, your priorities in marriage were each other. I think you have to be super intentional to make sure both of you feel seen, heard, and appreciated.
Here’s a few things we do to stay connected:
Evening Walks: We like to take evening walks together, just the two of us, a few nights a week. What works for us is dropping the kids at the neighbors for an hour of playtime while him and I walk with a glass of wine and talk about all things home, life, and do a little house porn watching...secretly our favorite!
Let Him Pick The Show: Okay I know this may sound silly, but we have very different tastes in TV. Serg is a documentary guy and I’m either watching reality show housewives or an intense drama! I try to let him pick one of his favorite heavy documentaries every so often because I know it’s something he feels passionate about. Plus, 1. I will learn something and 2. It always leads us to engage in new conversations! Let me tell you, I’ve watched a lot of punk rock & skateboard docs BUT I will say I’ve never not enjoyed them!
Talk Politics: Trust me, I know this is probably controversial right now, but we love to talk social causes and politics to share how we think we can make a difference in our own home, kids, and community. To further educate ourselves, we like to listen to the same audio books together. Audiobooks are a great way to talk about things we’re passionate about! Don’t get me wrong, there’s definitely times when we don’t agree however I think it’s healthy to work through those topics to find a common ground.
Date Night At Least 2 Times A Month!: For us, this is a non-negotiable! Get a sitter and get out of the house...if that’s not an option, create a date night in! It’s important to take your parent hats off once in a while and be a couple! Pre-Covid we loved to go to comedy shows and concerts, now it’s dinners, the drive in movie theater, and daytime hikes followed with a boozy brunch. If going somewhere isn’t an option, we have found different ways to create a cute date night in!! Something we’ve been doing lately is bribing the kids to hangout on their own by letting them buy a movie while we get takeout and create a date night outside on our balcony (win-win for the kids and the parents ha!). This all takes effort and time but always feels so special in the end. Don’t be afraid to change it up so things don’t get stale...try alternating who plans date night! It doesn’t always have to be him doing the planning and I promise he will love it if you take over for a surprise date night.
Cook Together + Wine Time Together: As fun as takeout is sometimes, we seriously love to cook meals together! We find that it really connects us, we talk, laugh, and our kids see us at our best - loving each other! We’ll open a bottle of wine and make a new recipe together...so fun. HE makes the apps and martinis while I make the main course! It sounds small, but we make it a point to sit at the dinner table together nightly! It feels so good to look around at your people! I really value this simple task together and feel like Serg loves it too.
A Couple Of Things We’re Working On:
Because we are all a work in progress and we definitely are NOT perfect!
Getting the kids to sleep early! After the long summer and bedtimes being pushed back, we’re really struggling with having alone time since the kids were getting to bed so late. We’re working on getting the kids to bed earlier so we can have that time together at the end of each day. Even an hour of awake time before bed makes such a difference to watch a show together or even just catch up on the day. It’s so necessary or else you’ll start to lose touch! So we’re getting our kids on sleep schedules ASAP!
Putting My Phone Away! One of the toughest parts of my job is that I am constantly attached to my phone and it can be really frustrating for your partner! I really try to disconnect on weekends, dinner time and especially before bed so Serg feels like he has all my attention!
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